Friday, June 4, 2010

What Validates you?

Something to think about

val·i·date [val-i-deyt]  

–verb (used with object),-dat·ed, -dat·ing.


1. to make valid; substantiate; confirm: Time validated our suspicions.
2. to give legal force to; legalize.
3. to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.: to validate a passport.

portion taken from: http://dictionary.com/ 

What validates you? What makes you feel good about yourself?
A job? 
A position in that job?
A label you "wear"?
How much money you have? 
Who you are married to?
How large your family is?
How well youor your children excel in life?
How big your house is? 
Where you live? 
Fulfilling a timetable set by others?
How nice of a car you drive? 
What your friends think about you?
What people say about you to your face?
What people say about you behind your back?
How many people respond to what you do on the internet?
What you get out of groups you are a part of?
How you feel about yourself?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not alone, but that's not the biggest question is - When was the last time you were happy with yourself?

Happiness and validation of who we are as people can have ties to the above answers.

The trouble is...

None of those about validations are stable. That aren't consistent over time. Not one. All those could change in a second, and if you use those as a barometer of your happiness, you will constantly ride on a rollercoaster of ups, downs, joys that don't last, and hurt that lasts far too long.

Do I have all the answers?

Nope.

I'm on this journey, just like you. I have good days and bad, like you, but instead of doing nothing, I want to do something.

Wanna know how I came up with this post? I see textual "screaming" of misplaced validation all the time, and I follow a whole lot of people, so its not just family, friends, Oprah and Ashton. I follow around a thousand people on many Social Networking platforms.

I see people on Twitter, Facebook, etc and in real life, reeling from the "rock" of validation that erodes like a sandcastle they hang onto in a storm. Their validation point collapses, then their worth collapses, and they are left with nothing but a Social network stream of calls for help hidden behind vague daily frustrations.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about it, I actually want to help. The only way I can do that is to bring it out in the open.

So, what do you think about it? What can be done about it? Where can someone derive validation that is more stable than the above list?

Note: I'm not trying to get preachy, but I am a Christian, and many Christians I know suffer from the same validation rollercoaster. So, to me it cuts across the board of many varied beliefs or non-beliefs. Just sayin'

With all this in mind, this is an important topic to discuss. What should validate you?

Please share this with who you feel might add to or appreciate this post. Thanks.


Posted by Jeff R. at 7:00 AM

3 comments:

Talkshow Host Barry said...

Jeff, I see what you're saying and I see the same things on Facebook and in real-life situations face-to-face with people. It certainly can be a rollercoaster ride, and I'm not sure what the solution is, however; I have some ideas. I recently has some profound thoughts that lead to what you're trying to discuss here. I'm going to throw out a "what if" scenario for you to ponder; What if you were placed in a condition where all your desires were available to you...you had more than enough money, you have no debt, you had your dream home, you didn't have to work a "job" if you didn't want to, so you basically could have everything you ever wanted, go any where you ever wanted, and do everything you ever wanted.....and aside from helping your friends and family, after you've done it all, got it all, and basically splurged to your heart's content...AFTER that what would you do? What kind of a person would you be? Would you then decide to strive for power and a position of importance? Would it matter to you what other people think of you? My basic exercise is to strip away all the "needs" for a job, to make money, to make friends, to travel, to play, to do all those things that, as you say, validates us, and go beyond that...what's next when none of that validating ourselves matters anymore? What is at our core as individuals?

I think our "core" is our spirit that is basically an eternal life-force that will live forever. Biblically speaking, our "spirit" will either be drawn to the "light" which is God or away from the light meandering around this corporeal existence searching for our own way. Biblically speaking, again, those who are drawn to the "light" and seek God will exist eternally with God, and those who do not seek God or meander around in the darkness on their own for whatever selfish reasons will exist eternally separated from God. That said, where, why, and how can we make our "spirit" happy and content? As Christians, I think part of it is knowing our path is set, our eternal existence looks bright, and we have an inner "joy", but all too often, we allow our corporeal cares, worries, debts, challenges, hurts, frustrations, and stuff, drag us down to the point where we forget the ultimate path we're on, and most of us deviate from that path, only because we are human and have this internal sin nature that deceives and distracts us daily.

It is a daily struggle.....some people don't know what path they're on, or have never grasped their purpose, and Christian or not, meander around life, day to day week after week, year after year, and they lack focus. I think, Jeff, the solution is to strive to gain "focus" daily, which is easier said than done. Not only strive to focus, but strive for understanding who we are as individuals, and ultimately what's the point of it all. Next, we need to maneuver our way through life with as much strategy, focus, purpose and strive for the results we want which will get us down that path as efficiently and effectively as possible. Some of those results may be strategize and plan how we are going to get out of debt, take care of business, secure the basics like a shelter, security, sustenance, etc. I also think, biblically speaking, part of our "mission" is to bring as many of our friends and family and those within our circle of influence, with us to the "Light". THAT, my friend, is a full-time project and ultimately will bring more and more joy to us as individuals and THAT is the ultimate "validation" when we finally meet-up with the "Light" and hear God tell us personally, "Well done my good and faithful servant".

June 4, 2010 at 8:27 AM
Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Glad to see the end of your post, because as I was reading, one answer came to mind - Jesus.

June 4, 2010 at 9:57 AM
Savvy-Motherhood said...

hhhmmm this is a good question... I'll have to get back to you on this one... Give me a week to ponder.

June 4, 2010 at 11:23 AM

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