Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Do We Really Need Dr. Phil?

It doesn't take to many times watching a Dr. Phil (or similar) show to realize that all Dr. Phil is doing is giving people advice that they may have heard before, but then didn't listen. You think, Why didn't these people listen to the good advice given by someone not hosting a TV show?

It's sad that people can hear those around them giving them honest, sometimes harsh advice, only to shun it and justify their behavior to keep moving forward in a dysfunctional funk for years and years.

I think we would do well to try listen to advice that may have be given in a harsh tone, a harsh way, etc, and take time to consider it. Sure, you may have to remove the person's slant or intent, but is the advice good for you?  It might be.

I only bring it up, because I don't want you to think of this when you are sitting on a reality show with a doctor, telling you the truth about your life (that you've already heard before), while the world (not just your family or friends) finds out about your issues. Just sayin'

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wife Swap

It's not what you think. I watch a few "reality" shows, and one of them is Wife Swap.

You know the routine, you switch two wifes from two completely different points of view, and see how each one reacts to the new environment.

I think life is a big switching show. Most families live in this "our world" bubble, where they set the tone, tules, etc in their life. Many times, it take someone from out if their bubble to come in and let them know there is a different world outside of their bubble. Alas, Christians (and I am one, too yes) rarely do well on this show, and I wince and prepare for the yelling and storming out of the final meeting room. It happens all too often.

We all have our credos, mottos and beliefs, but if you live in a bubble, surrounded by your credo and belief, you may miss out on the richness 'out there'. Life is a wonderful gift, but the more you see, share and help others out of the bubble, you will live a more enriching life. Some people feel that they will change if they are around people who think, live or believe opposite or differently than they do. The fear of "the effect" of others can drive you farther in your bubble, and you are, in essence robbing others of being effected by you.

I also worry about someone's belief, if they are so afraid it won't stand up to living outside of their bubble, and sharing it with others. If a belief is treated in such a fear-filled, protected life, it might need to be rethought. My opinion, of course.

My wife and I are sure the producers of Wife Swap will never pick us, because there isn't much drama putting us around those who believe differently than us. There was a time long ago, when there would have been, but not now. I am solid with my beliefs, but I also seek to love others and see what they believe, too.

Note: This isn't just about being a Christian or not. I only use the examples, because it is the lens I see it as. I could have easily used "Easy Going," or "Geeky Guy," as well.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Know Why You Are Changing

Change is hard. Humans can change, but it takes many different things to come together to help someone go from one place in life to another. One is to know why.

Why do you want to change? Is it for someone else? Is it for a short term goal?

or

Is it for you?

Remember that change is hard, and if you are changing for other people, they may not be there for you're entire journey. The reason is, only you really care strongly enough to change. Cheerleaders are there to cheer you, but only you know why you are changing.

My advice, write out why and keep it with you in your wallet or purse, put it up on a mirror, so that you remember. Tell yourself why everyday, because there will be plenty of times you will want to drift back to where you were, instead of walking the tough road uphill to where you want to be.

Remember Why, and Commit to Accomplishing the Goal.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The American Idol Moment

This will be posted elsewhere.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Who Surrounds You?



Who surrounds you?


As you begin your journey, we take a peek into your backpack that we assembled in an earlier post. In that backpack are things vital to your journey, but today we will discuss a few things that may be the most important of all; Cheerleaders, Partners and Accountability partners.


Cheerleaders


It is always nice to have people cheer you on. They are important. The positive influence as you begin a change in your life. Find them, cherish them, cheer for them, too.


Partners/Joiners


These are folks that join may join you in your journey. When someone begins a weight loss or fitness journey, there are many joiners, it seems. It is great to have someone coming long with you, sharing the experience, and making it easier for you, because you don't feel alone. However...


Partners also come with an out. If a partner lessens their intensity, you will feel like doing the same. Here is something you need to come to grips with right now -


You are doing this journey for you. If no one else joins you, you will still make the journey.


Many times partners/joins bring peer pressure, and if the pressure to stop, back off, etc comes up, you need to make the determination to continue. It is hard, but you are doing this for you.


Accountability Partners


I also call these folks, The Enforcers. I also want to say that the Accountability Partners are normally not either of the above two. Sure, it's not fun to have something call you when you have stopped your journey "for a few days," and the person on the other line says, "How's the journey going?" You could lie, not speak to them again, try to justify why your journey is different than most people's journey that is doing the same thing.


Here is the painful truth. Humans gravitate to the path of pleasure or least resistance. Rarely, is a person going to stick to a journey in which they will change a behavior, deprive themselves of something, exercise till their sore (on an on-going basis), etc, unless there is money involved, a huge event, or an Accountability Partner keeping them on the path. We would rather sit than run, play on the computer then learn on it, etc.


We need an enforcer to call us on the carpet. I know, I've started many things, and only a few I've kept up. Mostly, because its fun or enjoyable to me. Diet or fitness are neither. I need a Doctors chiding, or constant trips to buy bigger clothes to get me back on the wagon, and yet that won't keep me consistent, and that's why I'm adding this.


Keep in mind that the AP isn't committed to your goal, and may not understand exactly what you are going through, so fishing for validation to whine isn't a good idea. They are committed to help you get there. You will not like them, most of the time, but when you finish your journey, you will.


Put it all together


So, now we see who we need around us, so go find them, enroll them into your journey process, and get ready to begin.

Friday, June 18, 2010